(More) ON: After We Get to Legally Say “I Do” (If we do)

This is an excerpt from an exchange I had with a friend on Facebook about me noticing how most of my friends who label themselves queer are not changing their profile pictures to the red HRC emblems:

I mean I blogged about it, basically I support marriage equality in the sense that if someone wants to be married then they should have the right to be married, but I am not necessarily pro-monogamy (or anti it), nor am I in general a huge marriage person, nor do I think it will solve any of the problems that I care about and seem more pertinent to my particular community. I wish that the conversation(s) were framed differently but alas they weren’t; I wish that more gay people envisioned a different way of performing a marriage or being in a relationship, but alas that is not the case. So basically I just am ready for it to be over; I am tired of always having to say, “there are other things to talk about.” I am tired of saying how tired I am only to have a friend or even someone I respect write to me or talk to me about how, for them, “I am missing the issue,” or how we must make priorities; I am not five, I am not dumb; I get the importance, I get the issue, and I am still tired. I am tired of the unwritten rule that if you don’t make same-sex marriage the most important issue to you then you are somehow a “bad gay.” I am tired of having to continually say “what about this issue here or this issue that affects this not-so-acceptable not-just-like-everybody-else community ,” and instead, actually talk about the issues, address those issues. I am ready to see how many gay couples stick around and devote their pages and voices to these new issues, issues which may not affect them, the same way others have supported them. But ingeneral, in the most simplistic terms:I am pro-marriage equality and I am tired.


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